If you've suspected that there's something unhealthy about the relationship between Bella and Edward in the phenomenally successful Twilight series, then it turns out that you're exactly right. In fact, there are fifteen examples of unhealthiness.
Livejournal user kar3ning was reminded of something after going to see New Moon recently:
According to the National Domestic Violence hotline, these are some signs that you may be in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship.
Does your partner:
* Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
Check.
* Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?
"Stay away from the werewolves. I love you."
* Make all of the decisions?
Check.
* Act like the abuse is no big deal, it's your fault, or even deny doing it?
"If I wasn't so attracted to you, I wouldn't have to break up with you."
* Threaten to commit suicide?
"I just can't live without you. In fact, I'll run to Italy and try suicide by vampire if anything happens to you."
* Threaten to kill you?
On their first date.
To see the complete list, click here.
13 enjoyed the bouquet.:
OBVIOUSLY they are in an extremely disfunctional relationship. But honestly, whose relationship isn't even a little bit disfunctional. To be honest, I'm sick and tired of hearing about this. It's a BOOK. There is a difference between make beleive and reality. You don't have to allow yor young chilrdren to read or watch it, I sure as heck wouldn't. But as a 22 year old young woman, who has all my opinions formed about relationships and such, what is the big deal? Sure I don't want it for myself but It sure makes for a good book.
Agreed, Christy. I don't think any teens who are reading the book should see this as an exemplary relationship - obvs. parents should be informed about what their kids are reading. But honestly, if this message is to be taken seriously, shouldn't the number one thing on it be
1) Don't let your daughter date a vampire who thirsts for her blood.
??? hahaha
This is a really interesting post, Ginger. Awesome. I've heard the argument before, but never seen it laid out point-by-point like this!
Ohmygosh, some people take things way too seriously! (sorry if my typing sucks, I am babysitting, and typing this on a laptop.....) But as you two said, it is a fiction teen book! And for the love of God, don't let your young children read it if it is this much of an issue, because as the parent, you should at least be monitering what your child is reading. If you don't like it, don't COMPLAIN about it. Its just a young romance novel....
Rant over, but, some people ....sheesh!
( I should start my own rant blog... >:D )
Thanks for the post!
Oh contrare, Grimm: That's what the internet's for. Complaining about whatever you want. You're considering starting a blog just to rant, which is essentially a drawn out, entertaining complaint, is it not? I rather enjoyed this. I've suspected this relationship had gone from creepy to just plain abusive, and now I have evidence. >:D
Although, YES, DUH, OBVIOUSLY anybody who thinks they actually need to warn their kids about this or whatever are just a little ... out of it. Um ... it's a vampire fiction. Fiction being the keyword (although 'vampire' is pretty cool). Agreement: Just don't let them read it if you'll get this worked up... Jeesh.
Yeah... I know that if I was in her (Bella's) posistion, I would run the other way the moment I had suspiscion that he was a vampire.
A certain werewolf on the other hand... I would be a little freaked, but at least he's warm.
Although sometimes he's mean too...
I'm pretty sure this article was written as a joke. No need to take it so seriously. After all.. we're talking about vampires here! sheesh :P
Well at first I thought it was written to be a bit funny, but the responses we are getting make me think it's a great discussion starter.
Even if it is not serious, I think this article is a great jumping off point to conversation. I think Twilight is, too, with parents and their daughters (and few sons) who are reading the books. I think that is the great thing about these books. I think Bella does go more than a little crazy for this vampire and talking with others about the choices Bella makes, good or bad, is always a good thing!
So I say keep the discussion coming!
GRRR. *mutters expletives under breath*
Ha! True, but my main point was, if you don't like the books, then don't read them!
I hope those who read these books aren't seeking relationship guidance. It's just something to fill your mind, and dream about the what if's... because I know we ALL dream about a gorgeous vampire falling in love with us one day :) oh and don't forget about the bruiting werewolf who is trying to steal your heart as well!
I don't think it's right that Edward's character gets so much blame for the "abusive" nature of his relationship with Bella. Wouldn't Bella be at fault too? she isn't exactly resisting him.
I think it's obvious Bella isn't the emotionally strongest of women. She's pretty insecure. (Not judging her for this, just stating fact. I have my own fair share of insecurities and past bad relationships from them. So I would be soo wrong to judge her! I actually my comfort in the fact I can relate, even if she's just a character in a book.......) So I'm not surprised she doesn't resist Edwards "abuse". And to be honest, I don't know if I would even go as far as calling it abuse. I think it's more average than one might think. I see my friends obsessing over and bending over backwards for guys ALLLLL the time (heck, I even do it sometimes!). To me, abuse wold be physical, unwelcomed sexual contact or name calling,etc. He does control her a bit, but in a way to keep her safe. It doesn't seem to me that he's controling her just to control her, you know. I would maybe call it not the most effective way to love someone. Or a little bit disfunctional and co-dependant. But again, so many people are. Can we blame either of them for their short comings when we have all experienced them at one time or another?
Look at me go! Wow Christy, it IS just a book you know! ;)
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